Take a deep breath in. You know you have been meaning to do this for a while. No, you have wanted to do this, needed to do this. You’ve had this sad feeling shrouded over your perception of them for a while. It greys the time you spend together. They see the slight glimmer in your eyes, they ask if you are ok. You go to say something, you stutter. They look at you. You blush. They ask what you were going to say, but you lie through your teeth, say everything is fine and laugh it off with a half-convincing chuckle.
Take a deep breath in. You know you have been meaning to do this for a while. No, you have wanted to do this, needed to do this. You’ve been getting angry looking at them. How can it have gone on for so long like this? You begin to scowl. You rile yourself up. You are about to say something, but the anger dissipates into thin air, the passion in your stomach has left you. That burning flame of confrontation and guile has fizzled out as the wind of their acknowledgement has hissed past you. They ask what is wrong. You smile, shake your head and move on.
Take a deep breath in. You know you have been meaning to do this for a while. No, you have wanted to do this, needed to do this. It has been building up now for weeks. Confusion. Pain. Suffering. The unknown. It seeps out of your every interaction. It strangles your mind’s eye before you sleep every night. They seem to be so fine. So lackadaisical about you, your relationship. They must not think about it at all. Why is that? Do they care? It has all got too much. You see them. Angst is flowing through your veins. It is about to rise up and finally rise to the bait. They smile at you, kiss you on the forehead and carry on with their menial task. You never rise up. You cannot quite fathom what it is you need to say.
I hate these moments. These ever-irritating commonalities of our polite lives. It troubles me that I can be around people I love and have such worrisome thoughts that I cannot tell them about. The tension that builds within you from these unspoken words can be so much more damaging than we can ever imagine and we know this. At least, we often know this to some degree. We feel anxious. Pernickety. Angry. Uncertain. All of these unpleasant emotions build up and we usually have at least some inkling as to why we feel this way. These unspoken words create seeds of undesirable, hurtful emotions. Every day we neglect to address these important conversations, we water and nourish these emotions. Our relationships weaken as we leave these words undeclared and these emotions unresolved. I don’t want this anymore. You shouldn’t either.
Have the damn talk.
Stop putting it off. Next time you are in private and have the opportunity to take that deep breath and let all of your fears, problems, joys, worries and criticisms out. Do so candidly. Do so with grace, charm, understanding, compassion, joy and emotion. Don’t let your emotions dictate exactly what it is you need to say, but remember you are human and so are they. These conversations can be put off for months or even years because they are hard. They can bring about challenges and obstacles that may be nearly insurmountable. However, at the end of the day life is too short. Don’t waste time, don’t put things off. I would rather regret doing something than never having done it. Breathe every moment of your consciousness with a thirst for life. Do not let these confrontations veer you away from saying what needs to be said and doing what needs to be done.
Have the damn talk.
Of course, sometimes these talks demand a day or a week to think over what it is you need to say and to understand how you truly feel. If you get too angry or passionate during the conversation, do not be ashamed to stop and start again later. Sometimes a little alcohol may loosen the tensions and allow you to talk, but too much and it will not be constructive. I know there are other considerations, but it doesn’t take away from the fact that you should and need to have these talks sooner rather than later. Don’t put it off, you are not helping anyone by doing so.
Take a deep breath in. You know you have been meaning to do this for a while. No, you have wanted to do this, needed to do this. Look them square in the eye and don’t hold anything back.
Have the damn talk.